


Future Bonefriend (Reprise)

by Kitkat_rian



Series: Self Ship Fics [2]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Dark Humor, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Self Insert, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 18:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14111121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitkat_rian/pseuds/Kitkat_rian
Summary: previously found at https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490382Revamping the self insert fic of my dreams and nightmares!Just some drabbles of Sans and I meeting, getting into trouble, and learning to live with what we've seen.





	1. A Meeting, and A Date

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Future Bonefriend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490382) by [Rowdy-Rose (Kitkat_rian)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitkat_rian/pseuds/Rowdy-Rose). 



**1\. How did they meet?**

It was pure coincidence that, not only were they both in the mall that day, but they were standing less than a foot away from each other when it happened. At a kiosk for sneakers, if you can believe it. Some red-neck, never-happy, middle aged bag of dicks saw Sans and flipped his shit, his wife silent but nodding in fierce agreement at everything her racist husband said.

_Ugly beasts._

_Job stealers._

_Thieves._

_Should crawl back into whatever hole they crawled out of._

Rian, who had been bullied most of his life and always wanted to do something about it, was not one to let things go. He nudged Sans and spoke softly. “Aye man... when I give the signal, run. They’ll be more mad at me but if they get you too, who’s gonna make sure they put somethin’ kickass on my gravestone?”

The stocky skeleton was confused. “what...?”

“Get ready boneboy.”

With a grin, bouncing on the balls of his feet, Rian turned. “This dude is nothing but bone. I bet he gets twice as much as you....” Rian announce, cheerfully and loudly, with a conspiratorial wink at the man’s wife. “But no one blames you, ma’am. With a mug like that? Eesh.”

Rian all but shoved the shocked skeleton monster as the angry asshole started barreling toward them.

“kid what the fu-”

“TURN!”

They skidded along, Sans breathing heavily. “why would you antagonize him? i’m used to this shit kid!”

“I hate bullies and wanted to try out some of my moves! Meet you at the bottom floor!” Rian said gleefully, stopping and nudging Sans onto the escalator. The human was barely winded. “GEEZ GRAMPS! I can see why you were jealous! He’s got more stamina than you too!”

It was at this point that Sans noticed the patches on Rian’s jacket.

_**FREE RUNNING GYMNASTICS RUNNER UP** _

Oh boy.

Needless to say, the rent-a-cop was both annoyed and impressed when he was yanking a loud, hateful man out of a cafeteria trash bin. All the witnesses were happy to come forward, and many even supplied video. The grown man was clearly trying to openly assault the 18 year old kid. That kid just so happened to be very adept at dodging. The wife was beside herself, claiming that the ‘rough teen and rude monster’ had started the problems. More video and more witnesses, including a guffawing kiosk manager, proved otherwise.

Papyrus never heard of the incident, but King Asgore did, and personally invited Rian over for dinner, deciding he liked this human who reminded him quite a bit of a young Undyne. Sans was just pissed that he hadn’t had the wherewithal to come up with a joke on the fly. It would be weeks before he let himself admit that if Rian hadn’t stepped in, he might have used his magic.

In fact, it was several days before Sans decided he would even tolerate this odd, intrusive, hard-to-read human.

 

**2\. It's A Date!**

 

'Several days later' came relatively quick, however, after Sans was pressured into going and picking up said human for one of the many weekly dinners he was invited to.

_"We have no idea what Rian's home life is like"_ Toriel had said only moments previously. _"But the child hardly seems more than a scrap of a thing. He apparently eats enough to be athletic, but certainly not enough for someone who should be growing! Now, go and get him!"_

And so, here Sans was, waiting in a small plaza right next to the mall where he and the kid first met. He must have lived or worked somewhere nearby, since he always got picked up in this general area. Figuring he might as well get _something_ out of this, he made his way into the closest little burger joint, hunkering for a milkshake. The place wasn't busy, per say, as much as just tiny, and seemed almost packed with just Sans and less than a handful of teenagers who'd presumably come to enjoy the late-spring weather. It seemed built for drive-thru traffic, as opposed to the sit-n-eat kind.

Just the kind of place Sans _didn't_ like, but beggars can't be choosers.

He followed his usual drill when it came to overly human establishments; pay no body no mind, look interested in the walls, and don't let anyone try to strike up a conversation. It worked, for the most part, and the poor kid he registered in the back of his mind that seemingly ran the place alone didn't notice him until the kids were heading out the door. He stepped up to the counter and...

Suddenly he and Rian were staring at each other.

There were several, long moments of silence that seemed to weigh them both down as each looked the other over. Rian was well aware that Sans didn't seem fond of him. Sans was well aware that the kid was bothered by it, but refused to budge on the matter until he proved that he was in it for more than just a cheap thrill; the fact that the kid seemed to get embarrassed and choked up whenever they were alone didn't really help.

Thankfully for the human, Sans was the first to crack. “wow kid. now that i know your secret, fry'll will have to brush up on my restaurant puns.”

A moment of silence, then softly, “Don’t you mean restaurant buns?”

Sans chuckled. “good one kid.”

“Thanks. I uh... this is a pickle.”

“heh. tell ya what. if you can make me have a good laugh, i’ll keep your secret a while longer. since you’re really that embarrassed.”

Rian blushed. “Okay... I’d tell you some anatomy jokes, but tibia honest they aren’t very humerus and I can ulna come up with a few.”

Sans snorted. “keep trying kiddo.”

“I’d tell you a joke about hot dogs, but I don’t want you to think I’m the wurst.”

“nah, you’re just a brat.”

“What do you call a tree with no leaves?”

“what?”

“It’s a tree. What do you call a bear with no fur?”

“a bear?” Sans said, fighting a chuckle.

“Well you sure don’t call him Harry.” Rian snickered.

Sans laughed softly in reply. “ya must be one of those ‘anti-joke’ types. got any more?”

“What do you call a cow with no legs?”

“no clue.”

“Ground beef! What do you call a dog with no legs?” Sans chuckled as he shook his head, and Rian went straight through with the punchline. “Doesn’t matter what you call him, he ain’t coming without help! What’s worse than ten dead babies in a trash can?”

“oh stars kid, I’m almost afraid to ask. what’s worse?”

Rian let out a soft giggle. “One dead baby in ten trash cans.”

Sans was really laughing now. “kid you are terrible!”

“What’s the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a convertible?”

“oh no.”

“I don’t keep the convertible in the garage.”

“oh my god.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

Sans was laughing too hard to answer, and Rian was oblivious as all of his coworkers in the back stared in a mixture of fear and awe. What none of them saw, but Sans could, was the ever-so-slight glow of a kind, patient, and injured SOUL finally shining through and getting bolder with each joke. The humor almost seemed to send sparks through the kid.

“I don’t know why, but it’s an egg-cellent yoke.”

Sans wiped away a tear, a genuine grin on his face as he shook his head. “ah kid. i pine. i oak, even. marry me? i need to tie ya down if i wanna be able to hear jokes like that for the rest of my life.”

“Aw Sans, at least take me to dinner first!”

The skeleton chuckled, waving his hand. “aren’t i already? unless i’m not givin’ ya a ride anymore. but if tonight doesn’t count, i ‘spose i can take ya to Grillby’s tomorrow?”

Rian smiled shyly. “I’d like that, Sans.”

“then it’s a date. just call me your future bonefriend.”

Sans had actually surprised himself... but was willing to give the kid a chance. Anyone that quick with some messy jokes couldn't be all bad.

Rian’s manager, a middle-aged man named David, sighed. It was technically against company policy to flirt with customers, but he’d let it slide. Because of Rian’s friendly attitude, more people, human and monster, had been regularly coming in, and the other employees all got along with him. He’d also noticed Rian had less ‘accidental’ cuts, now that they’d been frequently seen hanging out with monsters. Some bad jokes were more than worth it.


	2. A Look to The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a quick look at what the future _might_ hold.   
>  Headcanon heavy.

**3\. Possibilities**

 

It had been a solid 7 years or so since Rian and Sans met. They had fallen in love. (And lust, but that’s another story entirely.) Monsterkind had gotten most, if not all, of the rights of any other citizen. (Marriage was still a little rocky, but intermarriage was recognized in most countries and states.) They had gotten older. Rian was now 25 and, after a few years of being poked and prodded, had stopped working in favor of going to college, working on a Sociology major, with a minor in theoretical physics. (They were hooked, after being subjected to Sans for so long.) Being an active theoretical physicist and a professor at the local university, Sans could more than afford to pay the bills while Rian did his studies.

Oddly enough, it had been Sans who broached the topic of having children and, after learning what it was to have a monster child, Rian couldn’t help but agree.

Monster children were the children of souls. There was no ‘being pregnant’, but there was a few months of caring for the new soul. Filling it with love. Teaching it compassion. The soul lived semi-independantly of its parents, compared to a human; it couldn’t really be left alone for any length of time, but it lived outside of a body, waiting until it was strong enough to form its own body...

Their own bodies.

Due to the nature of human and monster souls, Sans and Rian, like most human-monster couples, ended up having twins. One, a bright, minty green, the combination of Kindness and Patience. The other, a muted shade of yellow-orange, the combination of Courage and Justice, and would probably be the child that looked most like a skeleton monster. At least one parent, or Papyrus, was always with the souls, and they were never more than a few feet from one another.

Sans cared for them quietly, holding them close as he went about his day. Rian, on the other hand, was much more enthusiastic. The human often read, sang, or just talked to them. The latter was what Sans caught Rian doing that day.

“I can’t wait to meet you two...” Rian murmured, Sans smiling fondly as he watched from the doorway. “Your other daddy doesn’t really say so but trust me guys, he’s excited too. Honestly... you’ll probably prefer him.” Now Sans was frowning, he’d heard Rian’s voice crack, but was hesitant to walk over. “I’m good at some things, and will take you to all the coolest playgrounds and movies but... I know that you’ll be bullied. Jerks are everywhere. Kids your own ages, adults... the world is still learning how to be kind to kids like you. They still have trouble being kind to... things like me. And I don’t think I’ll be able to protect you...” 

Rian was visibly shaking now, and Sans slowly began walking over, stopping just behind his mate. Sans was well aware of the way Rian’s body dysphoria would sometimes act up, and that there were still many humans who couldn’t grasp the concept of a transgender person. Rian didn’t like to talk about it around Sans, since the human would often break down and refer to themselves as an ‘it’ when they were hurting, and that was something the skeleton didn’t tolerate. No one could talk bad about his Rian. Not even Rian. 

“But your daddy Sans? He’ll definitely be able to protect you. He may seem goofy and lazy but... trust me. He’s so much more than that. I saw him get mad, once or twice- not at me, never at me, bless him- and he can be terrifying. He’s... patient. And fierce. He looks like a hurricane when he fights. And when he’s in the zone, nothing fazes him. He is the strongest, gentlest, most wonderful monster either of you will meet. I know he’ll be able to keep you safe and happy.”

Sans gently wrapped his arms around Rian. “what your dad really oughta be tellin’ you kids is about how embarrassed you’ll be of me. i’ll walk in and tell all of your friends the best puns, and all of your most embarrassing secrets. them bullies would avoid you just cause they’ll get tired of seein’ my ugly mug. your human dad will be the real hero in your lives, savin’ you from me all the time.”

Fighting back embarrassment, Rian huffed. “Daddy Sans doesn’t realize that I’ll probably be the one taking you to things like doctor’s appointments, and forcing you to do your homework, and making you go to bed at a reasonable hour... I won’t let you be night owls like your parents are.”

Sans kissed his mate’s neck. “babe, it’s 3am. they’re already nightowls.” The skeleton said, not unkindly, gently squeezing the human. “...someone say somethin’ to ya at school?”

Rian nodded, holding the souls closer. “Yeah... but I’ll be fine. I just... felt like I should say something to them. Let them know that even if they’re bullied, they’ll be loved. And protected. They have friends and family who will never stop accepting them. They won’t have to face the world alone.”

Sans smiled. “They know.”

 

~)O(~

 

It had now been nearly a decade and a half since Sans and Rian first met. Sans was still teaching, Rian was now a key player in the sociological field of study, having done most of the current human-monster interpersonal studies that could be considered reputable. And their children... were a handful, to say the least.

Given the odd growth rate of monsters, the twins were now the equivalent of human 12 year olds. The minty colored soul had grown into Roman, a young boy who was mostly skeletal, which had surprised most of their group. If Sans and Rian were honest, Roman resembled Papyrus more than he did his parents, although he had Sans’ eyes, and his flesh-covered parts had skin the same shade as Rian’s. (it was confirmed by x-rays, and his human digestive system, that he had all of the organs of a human.) His legs below the knee, his arms, and everything above his shoulders was skeleton-monster.

The muted soul had become Arial, and she was a regular spit-fire. To the casual passer-by, she seemed human. But her right hand, from the elbow down, was nothing but bone, and she had Sans’ eyes, although the pinpricks had a slightly green tint to them, to match Rian’s green eyes. Her hair was a velvety, chocolate brown like Rian’s as well. Despite her human looks, though, she was much more a monster than her brother, and could wield magic just as easily and, someday, just as powerfully as Sans could. She was sassy, she was brave, and she would bring the fight to anyone who dared to try to bully her older (by fifteen minutes) brother. She could stomach human food, but had to consume monster food regularly to keep her magic balanced out.

Most of their classmates loved them. They were different, and they were fun, and their family threw literally the best halloween parties. It was Asgore who had said that the children of the next generation, even those who had no monster relatives or no human relatives, would pave the way for peace... and he was right. Those children and teenagers who spent their childhoods with monsters happily and willingly bridged the gaps, and even the staunchest of conservatives were beginning to see that their new neighbors brought plenty of good things to the table. Education in all areas was improving. Less criminals went free, and less innocents were punished. Magic helped to grow better, more plentiful harvests. Technology was moving forwards with greater strides than ever before. Medicine was working better, and previously incurable ailments were now understood and treated with much better results.

For Roman and Arial, the future looked bright. Their parents, stubborn to a fault, were finally going to get married now that all 50 states would recognize the bond. Their ‘cousin’ Frisk, now getting out of college, was beginning the road to becoming a real politician. ‘Aunties’ Undyne and Alphys, happily married for the past decade, were in the midst of nurturing their second child. Uncle Papyrus and Metaton were actually starting to get serious about each other. Asriel, the lost prince, had finally been determined enough to reconcile with his parents, and much of the scientific community was working to give him his old life back. Toriel and Asgore, practically the twins’ grandparents since Rian’s family had all-but disinhereted them, had renewed their vows and were falling in love again more and more all the time.

The future looked bright.

The future looked bright.

_The future looked bright._


End file.
